My ‘shift’ key is officially out of commission. I have to manually hit capslock to start each sentence, so this entry may be really short. Also it will probably seem very composed and business-like, because I can’t use the exclamation points or anything to depict excitement, so you’ll just have to add your own voice inflection to make it more audibly appealing.
Being a first time parent comes with a lot of trial and error. Calming a crying baby takes a lot of guesswork. You can offer bottles, naps, cuddles, bounce-walking, bounce-dancing, Phil Collins, anything. But sometimes the most obvious methods do not work.
Sometimes, the only thing that will work is allowing said baby to clench your finger in his tiny fist, while rocking him on the porch swing, and monotone-chanting ‘The Wassail song’ from the Chipmunks Christmas album over and over, because you blurted out the first song that popped into your head and, miraculously, it worked. And now you are afraid to stop, and so you continue to sing it in a hushed voice for twenty minutes straight.
Where was I…insert question mark here because I can’t do it without a shift key. I would also make this parenthetical, but I can’t use the parentheses either.
Well, that is all for now.